What literary agents and authors misunderstand about each other

This is less of an "author-agent etiquette" post and more a taxonomy of common miscommunications that snowball into Whole Big Deals.

This has been an intense month for online discourse about literary agents.

At least it’s been intense if you yourself happen to be a literary agent who feigns casual ego-less disregard for these things when hahahaha WE BOTH KNOW I READ EVERY FREAKING WORD.

In case you’re emotionally healthy and not obsessed with publishing Twitter, here’s what I’m refer…