The kind of author you *don't* want to be

Commercial book editors (and readers!) expect authors to play a highly specific role on the page...and authors too often show up to auditions having learned the wrong monologue.

In commercial book publishing, acquiring editors and readers expect authors to adopt a certain persona.

If you don’t meet their expectations, you’re probably not going to get a book deal (or sell more than a handful of copies on the off chance you do).

What I am referring to here is not the narrator persona in a novel. Rather, it’s the implied or overt manner in which you manifest as you, creator of the text.¹

In most nonfiction—where, to be honest, I think the advice that follows is slightly more important— this = how you convey your authority and lead readers through the information you have to share. In fiction and memoir, you show up in your silences as well as your declarations.

The last thing you want to do in either case is come off as annoying.

Again, “coming off as annoying” is different from telling a story that frazzles your reader with suspense. I’m talking about someone picking up your book and putting it down with the thought, whoever wrote this is an energy vampire in whose house I do not want to hang.

This is an extremely common issue with early draft material, most of which is written by good, worthy, talented people.

I’m about to give you a list of archetypal examples, but please rest assured that if you see yourself in the below, I’m not sitting here telling you you are this archetype (and nothing but).

Rather, I’m telling you: if you recognize yourself, you’ll probably need to make some perspective adjustments to get yourself back in line with commercial audiences. Keep reading; I’ll tell you what they are.